Collateral Damage
by Todash
Summary: Post-war story. B.J. makes the decision to leave his marriage for Hawkeye, but he's unprepared for Peg's spiteful reaction. Written by request; slash. Updated with Chapters 10, 11 and 12. Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note:** Written by request for __BTme. This might not end up being exactly what you had in mind, but I hope you like it anyway._

 _Anachronism alert: After I had already settled on the title for this story, I was reading online that the term "collateral damage" apparently didn't come into use until the 1960s. Apologies for being historically inaccurate._

* * *

 **Collateral Damage**

 _October 1953_

B.J. thought, in a strangely detached way: _If it isn't one war, it's another._

His mind was opting for detachment because the alternative was to acknowledge the horror of the situation. But then again, what had he expected? Had he actually thought this was going to end well, or anywhere in the neighborhood of well? How could he have been so naïve?

Peg's eyes were fierce, her face red out of pure anger, her hands visibly shaking as she gestured to punctuate her words: "Did you not hear me, B.J.? I said get out of here _now_!"

"Peg, hang on a second, let's take a deep breath here—"

"No. No, I'm not going to _hang on a second_." Her voice was so cold B.J. could almost feel the temperature in the room drop ten degrees. "I'm not going to do anything you tell me to do. Hell, I'm not even going to listen to you one minute longer. Get out of this house _now_."

B.J. fleetingly realized that, while Peg was certainly the angriest he'd ever seen her, she was somehow managing to keep her voice from getting too loud. Ever the conscientious mother, she was not going to alert their daughter—who was presumably asleep upstairs—to the war that was taking place in the kitchen.

He reached out a hand, hoping to calm her, hoping to get her to settle down a little and maybe listen… but now she took a big swing at him, her fist not actually making contact, but her intent was clear. She wanted to hurt him. He took a step backward just in case she tried to hit again.

"So this is it, then," he said, and she began nodding furiously.

"Yes, this is it. You made that decision when you decided to sleep with that… that..." She waved her hand, as if Hawkeye was standing right behind him. " _…degenerate_."

"Peg—"

"I'm not going to say it again. Get out." She pushed at him this time, and he thought, _Well_ _at least she's not trying to hit,_ but she did put a lot of muscle into that shove. So finally, he began to move toward the front door, as she wanted.

Still, even as he headed out, he kept trying. "After you've calmed down, let's talk, OK? We have things we have to work out—"

"There's nothing to work out, B.J."

"Of course there is."

"No, there isn't. You will hear from my lawyer, not from me. Do not call me, I mean it, B.J."

He stopped at the door, turned to face her. "But what about Erin?"

It didn't seem possible, but Peg's face got even redder. Her hand curled into a fist, and B.J. backed away. "You've forfeited your relationship with Erin. You won't be seeing her, B.J.—ever. You might as well get used to the idea. My daughter isn't going to be exposed to that _shit_. Now for the absolutely last time, get out of my sight, you… _queer_!"

B.J., thunderstruck, stepped out of what was clearly no longer his house and down the steps of the front porch, his heart pounding. Did he hear that right? He wasn't ever going to see his daughter again? Was that possible?

Out on the sidewalk, he stood still for a long moment, staring in the direction of his car but not really seeing it. How could he have so badly miscalculated his wife's reaction to his confession?

 _You've forfeited your relationship with Erin._

He honestly hadn't seen such a response coming, but now he felt foolish and dim. After all, it wasn't like this was his first war. He should have known there's always collateral damage.


	2. Chapter 2

_Five months later…_

Hawkeye read the divorce decree a second time, then set it back down on the kitchen table. The house was eerily quiet, but he knew B.J. was home; his car was parked in the driveway. As soon as Hawkeye had walked in the door, he'd sensed _something_. And seeing this document on the table… well, that explained things, all right.

His eyes traveled to the kitchen countertop, where an empty beer bottle sat. Why did he get the feeling that wasn't the only one that had been consumed this evening?

Hawkeye quietly made his way to the bedroom he shared with B.J. He purposely didn't call out. Based on the silence permeating the house, he had a feeling Beej was sleeping, and sure enough, when he peered into the bedroom, he saw that his guess was right.

He stepped into the room and picked up the empty beer bottle on the floor. Another correct guess. He paused, looking at B.J. stretched out on the bed, and he couldn't help himself… he leaned over and kissed his lover's cheek. B.J. didn't stir.

Hawkeye retreated, shutting the door behind him. Back in the kitchen, he tossed the empty bottles into the trash and then rummaged in the cupboard for a can of soup to heat on the stove. Not much of a supper, but he wasn't that hungry anyway.

Mindlessly stirring tomato soup as it simmered, he wondered how the hell their lives had gotten to this point. They'd become lovers during the Korean War, but the entire time they were together over there, Hawkeye kept telling himself that he was going to have to let B.J. go once the war ended. Beej was married with a baby daughter he adored; the affair was only fleeting, Hawkeye figured. He knew that B.J. loved him… the connection they had was deep and genuine. But that didn't mean B.J. was going to leave his marriage for him… for a _man_ , for God's sake. Hawkeye had no expectations for any kind of future with the guy who was, without a doubt, his soul mate. He was fully prepared to love and lose… what else was new? That was his life in a nutshell.

Except something amazing happened on his way down that well-worn path to rejection. When the War ended in late July 1953, and the two of them parted ways, with a hug and a message of goodbye spelled out in rocks… that separation only lasted two and a half months. One Saturday in October, Hawkeye picked up the ringing phone, only to hear an obviously emotional and troubled B.J. on the other end, rambling that he'd made a mistake, that he loved Hawkeye and couldn't handle living without him. It was a difficult conversation that lasted hours. Finally Hawkeye invited B.J. to Maine the following weekend. His intention was to talk some sense into the man, explain how they were going to have to put their romance behind them, although Hawkeye would of course always be available as a pal, willing to run across the country at the drop of a hat, because they were never going to stop being best friends, that was just a physical law of the universe.

But the best-laid plans... well, Robert Burns' phrase was part of the lexicon for a reason. Instead of Hawkeye giving B.J. the gentle brush-off, the two of them landed in bed. Often. Well, no, that's not quite accurate. They landed in bed and _stayed_ there, for the entire weekend. The sex was hot, passionate, gloriously transcendent. But beyond the physical pleasure was the talking, the sharing, the _fusion_ of mind and soul.

By the time that Sunday evening rolled around and B.J. was going back home, he had decided he was going to tell Peg he wanted a divorce. At the time, it had seemed perfectly sensible, not to mention achingly romantic. Hawkeye and B.J. were starry-eyed and not thinking straight, and neither of them even imagined how hellish things were going to become.

After B.J. spilled his story to Peg, she immediately ordered him out of the house. She wouldn't let him see or talk to Erin. She filed for divorce and told her lawyer everything… that her husband had been unfaithful, with another _man_ yet, and had no intention of ending the relationship.

That was all it took. From that point on, Peg had it easy. The law was squarely in her favor. B.J. was labeled a deviant, a pervert, and as far as the courts were concerned, that made him an unfit parent.

The divorce decree that had just arrived in the mail made it official in black-and-white: B.J. was denied custody and visitation rights. The last time he had seen his daughter was that October day when he'd flown out to Maine to be with Hawkeye. Which is exactly when Hawkeye should have ended it all, heartbreak or no heartbreak. Then they wouldn't be living in this nightmare.

His tomato soup ready, Hawkeye spooned some into a bowl and sat down at the kitchen table, careful to avoid looking at the legal document that had shattered their lives. But actually, neither he nor B.J. had expected anything different from the courts. Seeing it in type, though, drove home the grim reality of their situation.

Right after B.J. had been kicked out of Peg's house, he called Hawkeye to tell him that her reaction included the bombshell that he couldn't see Erin… apparently ever. Beej was understandably distraught, and Hawkeye knew he had to move out to Mill Valley and become B.J.'s rock. They hadn't even gotten that far in their planning. They'd only known they wanted to be together, but had been blissfully unaware of what they would be faced with once Peg knew the truth. When B.J.'s world blew up, Hawkeye didn't hesitate. He left his hometown, his practice, and his father… moved cross-country… and settled down in a small rented house with the man he loved more than life itself. It didn't take him long to land a surgical position at San Francisco General, the same hospital where B.J. worked.

Together, they were somehow getting through the days. A lot of the time, like now, Hawkeye wondered if B.J. was even remotely happy. He wondered why B.J. had so casually thrown away his family… just for him. It struck Hawkeye as obscene. If he could go back in time, he would have never let this happen.

Never.

Hawkeye slurped some more soup into his mouth, not even really tasting it. His eyes traveled to the calendar on the wall to his left. One hundred and fifty-five days since B.J. had last seen his daughter.

But who was counting?


	3. Chapter 3

"Maybe if we hired a really good lawyer…" B.J. said, and Hawkeye almost smiled, loving the man's eternal optimism.

"Beej, you know that's not the answer," he said gently. _It's a sad day when Hawkeye Pierce is the voice of reason,_ he mused. "There is no court in this country—in the _world_ —that would consider giving you custody. We could hire the greatest lawyer we could find and it wouldn't do any good. Sorry to be so negative. But you know I'm right."

B.J. nodded and sighed. "Yeah. I know."

It was the next morning and they were sitting at the kitchen table having coffee, B.J. occasionally picking up the divorce decree and scanning it, as if the words on it might change.

Hawkeye continued, "The second Peg blabbed to her lawyer about us and it went on the record, that was it. She knew how to get what she wanted."

B.J. nodded again, saying nothing.

Hawkeye placed a hand on his forearm and waited for B.J. to look him in the eyes. "We only have one way of getting to see Erin, and that's by talking to Peg directly. Being straightforward with her, and asking politely. Appealing to her sense of decency—"

"Not sure she has one anymore."

Hawkeye ignored that. "I would hope that enough time has passed, that she's over the bitterness by now. She was hurt very badly, but months have gone by and maybe time has healed. I think you should try calling her. But when you do, be civil. Behave yourself."

B.J. made a _who, me?_ face, pretending to be offended. He followed that with a weak smile. That was often the best he could do these days. The famous beaming, toothy smile that Hawkeye had fallen in love with was a rarity since the great Hunnicutt War. Hawkeye missed it terribly, along with the fun-loving antics he and Beej used to enjoy when times were simpler. He shook his head… if death and destruction and operating on hundreds of wounded soldiers constituted "simpler times," things were very wrong in your life.

B.J. said, "You're right, Hawk. Can't hurt to try. There's no way it could make matters worse."

That evening, after spending the day trying to figure out the best approach for his phone call to Peg, B.J. made the attempt. And as it turned out, all the preparation had been a waste of time. As soon as Peg heard her ex-husband's voice come over the line, she hung up. He redialed right away, and this time the ringing phone went unanswered.

Time, it seemed, had not healed.

Hawkeye took the phone out of B.J.'s grasp and hung it up. He couldn't think of anything helpful to say, but he knew what he could do. Lacing their fingers together, he tugged on B.J.'s hand, wordlessly leading him to their bedroom.

Their lovemaking was almost always tinged with sadness nowadays. Hawkeye had never even met Erin, but he felt the loss of the child nonetheless… B.J. walked around with it every day, weighed down by it, as if it were a physical presence. Even in bed, when they turned to each other for pleasure, neither of them could completely shake off the sorrow.

Now, Hawkeye peeled off B.J.'s clothing slowly, pausing now and then to kiss his neck or jaw or mouth. It took a little while, but eventually B.J. went from passive, almost catatonic statue to willing participant. He began to kiss back, began to run his hands over Hawkeye's arms and chest. Finally he was pulling at Hawkeye's shirt, apparently wanting to speed up the proceedings.

But still Hawkeye took great care, because this was about soothing and sharing and showing how much he loved his partner. He kept his touch light, fingertips ghosting along skin. He kissed with tenderness rather than abandon, his tongue licking rather than invading. He spent long moments staring into B.J.'s eyes. He whispered, "I love you, I love you, I love you," matching the rhythm of their moving bodies.

Afterward, as they lay there pressed together in the dark, Hawkeye took hold of B.J.'s right hand. _This is the hand I shook at Kimpo a hundred years ago,_ he thought. _It's the hand I'll be holding when I breathe my last breath… if you'll have me that long. If you'll have me._

He honestly didn't know. The future seemed so uncertain.

"We're not going to give up," he murmured into B.J.'s ear. "You'll try calling Peg again in a few days."

"Not gonna give up," B.J. echoed, sounding close to sleep.

Hawkeye let his eyelids drift shut. He fell asleep holding his lover and holding out hope that somehow the two of them would find a way to make their life together complete, which could only happen if Erin were a part of it.


	4. Chapter 4

Over the weeks that followed, B.J. dialed Peg's number at least a dozen times, only to be hung up on each time. One Sunday, he even drove over to her place and knocked on the door. He was terrified as he stood there on the porch, nervously shifting from foot to foot as he waited. When Peg opened the door, it occurred to him that this was his first glimpse of her since that horrible October day when she threw him out. But that was the only thought he had time to think. She shut the door the instant she saw him. No amount of knocking or doorbell ringing brought her back.

Instead of heading home, B.J. got in his car and drove to the nearby park he had frequently taken Erin to after his return from Korea. He sat on a bench and watched a young father who was there with his own daughter, pushing her on the swing, the both of them laughing. Tears sprang to B.J.'s eyes. He had to look away.

 _I love Hawkeye,_ he told himself. _But what kind of life are we living if we're both miserable all the time? Society thinks we're sick. Maybe we are. Maybe we're crazy and sick._

He didn't often let his thoughts go down this road, but sitting there on that park bench, he wondered why he had started up with Hawkeye in the first place, back during the War. The second they fell into bed together, which had happened during a trip to Tokyo on R&R, B.J.'s whole life changed irrevocably. Had he even fully recognized that at the time? All he could remember now was how he'd giddily followed his heart, believing that love was the only thing that mattered, and if you're honest with yourself, then things work out in the end.

What a joke.

Now Hawkeye was living 3000 miles away from his father and his roots, and B.J. was missing the part of his heart that his daughter occupied. He had been taken away from her for two years while he served overseas, and now he was apart from her again… the two of them barely knew each other. It was so unfair.

He suddenly stood up, needing to get out of the park and away from the happy people around him, especially that father and daughter over at the swings. What right did these people have to be happy when he was so despondent?

He hurried to his car and drove off in a squeal of tires. A few minutes later, he found himself at some bar called Pete's, where the booze did a nice job of numbing his brain and dulling the pain.

* * *

"Beej, you know I'm the last person on earth who has the right to lecture anyone on drinking, but please… if you're going to get drunk, don't drive. All right? You find a phone and call me to come get you."

B.J. was splayed sort of half-on, half-off the couch, lounging there with his eyes closed and a hand on his apparently pounding head. He nodded, though, to show he was listening as Hawkeye calmly—all things considered—admonished him.

Beej had managed to drive home from some bar called Pete's without any kind of accident or incident, but that didn't mean it hadn't been reckless of him to get behind the wheel drunk. Doing it in Korea during the War had been one thing. There wasn't traffic over there, at least not usually… no red lights or cross-streets or much of anything besides bushes to get in the way. Mill Valley, California, was a different story, and Hawkeye was frankly alarmed that B.J. had been so foolish.

"Drink at home," he said now, sensibly enough. "Get fall-down, outta-your-mind drunk here, where I can keep an eye on you. But no more drinking and driving, OK?"

"'Kay, Hawk. Sorry." His words were a little slurred. _Sorry_ came out sounding closer to _shorry_.

Hawkeye went to the bathroom and got out the aspirin bottle, shook two pills into his palm. Next stop, the kitchen for a glass of tap water. When he returned to the living room, B.J. hadn't moved from his semi-horizontal position on the couch. "Here, some aspirin for you."

B.J. swallowed the pills with the water, then closed his eyes again. "She's completely shut off any chance of communication," he said, of course referring to Peg. He'd already told Hawkeye about the visit to her place… surprisingly coherently, given the man's inebriation. "I dunno what to do. There's nothing left to try."

Hawkeye reached down and ran his fingers through B.J.'s hair. "There's always something left to try," he said. But it sounded hollow even to his own ears.


	5. Chapter 5

B.J. stepped in to Ricky Holloway's hospital room. The boy's parents looked over as he entered, and their faces broke out into wide grins.

"Dr. Hunnicutt!" Mr. Holloway said, extending his hand for a shake. "We can't thank you enough for doing such a terrific job."

B.J. waved off the compliment. "An appendectomy is a very simple operation."

"Well the simplicity of it doesn't matter. It could still have gone wrong, in the wrong hands, I'm sure."

The boy's mother spoke then, adding her praise to her husband's. "Ricky wasn't even scared. He felt very safe with you as his surgeon. We really do appreciate everything you've done."

B.J. turned his attention to Ricky, who was awake but just barely. "How you doin', sport?"

"All right. Tired, is all."

B.J. checked the boy's vitals, assured himself that everything was perfectly normal for an 8-year-old who'd just had an appendectomy that had gone off without a hitch. "Looking just fine, Ricky," he said, patting the boy's arm. "You rest, OK?"

"OK."

B.J. made a few notations on Ricky's chart and told the Holloways that he'd check in again near the end of his shift. Unnecessarily, Mr. Holloway grasped B.J.'s hand for another exuberant shake.

Feeling almost embarrassed, B.J. said, "Honestly, sir, you don't have to keep thanking me."

Holloway's expression shifted then, turning serious. "Do you have children, Dr. Hunnicutt?"

The question hit B.J. in the solar plexus. _Yes. Sort of. I'm not really sure how to answer that…_

"One," he finally said, blinking a few times to keep the tears at bay.

"Well then you know," Holloway said, spreading his hands. "You know what a parent goes through when his kid is sick or injured or hurting in any way. We're so thankful he's come out of this whole crisis all right."

B.J. nodded. "Yes, of course." He barely had any volume in his voice. He was remembering a time when Erin had tripped and fallen on the sidewalk, hurting her knee and crying, bawling actually… and how it had torn him up inside to see her upset and in pain, and it was only a scratched knee and some bleeding, for God's sake. Nothing major at all.

He blinked his way back to the present. "You're welcome, sir," he finally mumbled to Holloway, and then hastily left the room, somehow making his way down the hall and into the elevator. It was empty, thankfully it was empty, and after the doors whispered shut, he covered his face with his hands and let the tears fall.

* * *

"I should have never started up with him," Hawkeye said into the phone, repeating the mantra that'd been playing in his head frequently in recent months. "His life was on the right track until I came along."

"Hawkeye," Margaret Houlihan said from hundreds of miles away, "stop beating yourself up. Has he said anything that even comes close to suggesting he regrets your relationship?"

"He's too polite to say it. But how can he not be thinking it? He has lost his only child, of course he's regretful!"

Her voice softened. "He's in love with you, Hawkeye. Trust me, I know. I saw." She paused. "Your love story… I have to tell you, it just might be the most beautiful one I ever got to witness that wasn't some fictional romance on a movie screen."

Hawkeye leaned back in his chair. He was in his office at the hospital, done with his patients for the day, waiting for B.J. to finish up so they could head home together. Beej had done an appendectomy on an 8-year-old this morning and wanted to check on the kid one more time before he left.

Looking up at the ceiling, Hawkeye exhaled. "Yeah, so we're in love," he muttered. "Big deal."

"It _is_ a big deal," Margaret insisted. "I know what I'm talking about. I'm still looking for the real thing… after all these years, after all the relationships, I still don't have what you have."

"But Margaret—"

She cut him off, her voice suddenly angry. "But nothing. Stop already."

"Huh?" he said stupidly.

She had transformed, just like that, from sympathetic ear to sassy, brassy, no-nonsense commander. "The Hawkeye Pierce I know is not like this. He is _not_ a defeatist."

"A defeatist," Hawkeye echoed, bewildered that he was being yelled at.

"The Hawkeye Pierce I know doesn't give up. Where's the guy who didn't stop until he got 40 pounds of ribs delivered to Korea from some place in Chicago?"

"Adam's Ribs," Hawkeye informed her, but his voice was faint and she was getting all wound up and easily overrode him.

"Where's the guy who figured out a way to foil Flagg when he wanted to take a wounded prisoner to Seoul for execution? Where's the guy who forced that asshole Stratton out of the war-souvenir business? And came up with a plan to stop Charles from scamming the locals during a scrip exchange?"

"OK, OK," Hawkeye interrupted, because Lord knew there were plenty of other shenanigans she could bring up as examples, but he was paying for this long-distance phone call. "I get your point."

"You can figure this out, too, Hawkeye. I know you can."

And it was weird, but her pep talk actually did work. Suddenly he felt invigorated and encouraged, for no reason other than her complete faith that he could do the impossible.

He sat up straight, feeling the conviction taking hold, empowering him. Yes. Hawkeye Pierce righted wrongs, whether they were small (eleven straight days of being served liver or fish) or big (children getting injured because they were souvenir-hunting). And B.J. being separated from his daughter was one of the biggest wrongs ever.

Hawkeye would fix it. After all, it was what he did.


	6. Chapter 6

_A month later…_

Hawkeye had come up with a pretty good idea, or at least he thought it was a good idea, but since he wasn't sure how successful it might be, he opted not to mention it to B.J.

Beej had continued to call his ex-wife every so often, but she never even let him finish a sentence before hanging up on him. The woman wasn't giving an inch. It was not possible to reason with someone when they wouldn't let you talk at all.

So Hawkeye had a thought. One afternoon near the end of his shift, he made a phone call. And as he left the hospital for the day, there was a bounce in his step and hope in his heart.

He drove to Walnut Avenue in Mill Valley and found a parking space down the street from a small ranch house that had a "For Sale" sign in the front yard. Only a few minutes later, Peg Hunnicutt, who had become a real-estate agent while her husband served in Korea, arrived at the rancher and parked in its driveway. She went to the front door and unlocked it with her key, disappearing into the unoccupied house.

Hawkeye had noticed this house on Walnut the weekend before, with Peg's name displayed on the "For Sale" sign as the agent responsible for the listing. So today he'd called the office where she worked and arranged this appointment with the secretary, careful not to speak with Peg or let on that he was the one she'd be meeting. He gave the name Jonathan Tuttle to the secretary, smiling at the memory of having used that same name at the 4077th when making donations to the orphanage. It was his default pseudonym, but not even B.J. knew that. So obviously Peg wouldn't either.

Now he got out of his car and walked down the block briskly, steeling his resolve with every step. When he reached the front door, he knocked once, to announce his arrival, and then went right in. He needed to get beyond that threshold… needed to remove any possibility of having the door slammed in his face.

He found her standing in the kitchen, her back to him. But she heard his approach, and said cheerily, "Hello, you must be Mr. Tuttle?" even before she turned to face him.

When she did, though, she placed him immediately. The two of them had never met, but clearly she knew him on sight, from photos, from descriptions. Her expression went from pleasant anticipation to outrage in an instant. " _You_. This is… What's the meaning of this? What are you doing here?"

Hawkeye knew he had only a few precious seconds to get through to her. He put up his hands in the classic _I mean no harm gesture_ , and he said, "I know you're not a cruel woman, Peg. I know you have a good heart."

It stopped her cold, which was exactly what he'd hoped for. What he said was true, of course. B.J. had loved this woman for a long time, and B.J. knew character. Hawkeye thought back to Korea… B.J. reading her letters out loud, opening the care packages she sent so lovingly.

What he and B.J. had done… he really did feel terrible that she'd gotten trampled as they'd traveled their path to true love. She had every right to be angry, bitter, and protective of her daughter. But now it was time to get past all that.

Hawkeye took a step closer to her. "There was a time," he said softly, "when you loved B.J. Believe me, I know how badly we've hurt you—" She scoffed at that, but Hawkeye plowed on. "And I can understand your reaction… I honestly can. But the man you used to love is suffering, Peg. And I believe your daughter is too."

"Erin's fine," Peg protested, squaring her shoulders as if to say that he'd better not question her ability to parent.

"Does she ask about her daddy?" Hawkeye wondered. "Does she miss him?"

He watched as something flashed across Peg's face. He'd hit pay dirt. Erin must be asking about her dad, wondering why she never saw him. B.J. had been home from Korea for a couple months before he was unceremoniously shoved out of the family picture. Erin had gotten a taste of having him around, and no doubt wanted to know where he'd gone.

There was a long pause before Peg said, "I cannot have my daughter exposed to your—" She didn't finish, but the nicest word that Hawkeye could think of to fill in the blank was _lifestyle_. He was kind of astonished that she was even listening to him, much less replying in an almost civilized manner. She hadn't spoken a word to B.J. in all of those previous attempts at communication. Hawkeye had the vague impression that she was finding it easier to face him than B.J., maybe because there was no history at all between the two of them. No memories or broken vows to get in the way.

So he took the plunge. She was standing there hearing him out, and he had to take advantage of the moment. "I understand. But how about this, Peg. What if you let B.J. have a couple of hours with Erin, just the two of them, I swear I won't be anywhere around. I'll get lost for the afternoon, and the two of them can have a little daddy-daughter time. Would you consider that? Please?"

Her teeth worked at her bottom lip and she turned away from him, moving to the kitchen window and looking out at the backyard. She wasn't going to be selling this house today, but Hawkeye hoped that she was buying his words. It would be a huge first step in the right direction.

From over by the window, Peg's voice was soft but he heard her plainly: "She misses him."

Hawkeye closed his eyes. She was thawing right in front of him. _Thank you, God,_ he prayed, before he remembered that he didn't pray.

He waited as patiently as he could; she still hadn't answered the question. It seemed that the silence stretched out for an awfully long time, but it might have been only a minute or two. Hawkeye's jaw was clenched tightly and it was bringing on a headache.

Finally Peg turned back to him and gave a single nod. "B.J. can have the afternoon with her on Saturday. But not you."

Relief swept over him. "I understand."

Peg didn't seem necessarily pleased to be giving in, but something about her demeanor changed, now that she'd made the decision. She appeared to relax a little. She even looked for a second like she wanted to shake his hand to seal their agreement, until it dawned on her that she hated him.

Hawkeye decided to make a quick exit before she changed her mind. "Thank you, Peg, this is very decent of you. B.J. will stop by on Saturday to pick her up."

"All right."

He said thanks a couple more times as he was heading for the door, but she said nothing else. Once outside, he nearly trotted down the block to his car. He couldn't wait to go home and tell Beej. He couldn't wait to see happiness light up his lover's eyes again. It'd been a long time.

* * *

Hawkeye stretched like a cat, his body tingling in the afterglow of their lovemaking. It'd felt good to bring B.J. to bed after telling him the news, both of them playful and on a natural high, tumbling together amidst shared laughter. Sex as celebration, for a change.

Now B.J. sighed contentedly. "I can't believe you did that, Hawk."

"Oh? Which specifically do you mean? I've been adding quite a few new moves to my repertoire."

B.J.'s mouth quirked up. "Yeah, I noticed. But that's not what I'm talking about." He turned onto this side, looking into Hawk's eyes with a kind of wonder. "I can't believe you managed to get through to Peg. You found a way to see her, get her to actually listen, and even give in—a little. You did the impossible. You're like Superman."

"Well, hopefully not faster than a speeding bullet, at least not in the context of this bed," Hawkeye cracked.

But B.J. wasn't letting the banter derail him. "I mean it, I can't thank you enough." He kissed Hawkeye deeply, tongue teasing tongue. "I'm just sorry you can't join Erin and me on Saturday."

"Beej, please, don't worry about that. The important thing is you get to see your daughter. That's huge, after everything you've been through. You two have a wonderful afternoon together, and I'll go to the movies and see a double-feature. Don't even give me a thought."

B.J. brought their mouths together for another lingering kiss. "Fat chance. You're _always_ on my mind, Benjamin Franklin Pierce." With a quick move, he straddled Hawkeye's hips, grinning down at him mischievously, "Now you just lie back and enjoy, because your heroics today have earned you a _special_ reward." Then he set about showing Hawkeye exactly how appreciative he was.


	7. Chapter 7

A bundle of nerves, B.J. knocked on the door to his former house that Saturday afternoon. When Peg opened the door, she was holding Erin's hand. Little Erin looked so different from the last time he'd seen her, it nearly knocked the breath out of him. She looked taller and her face looked fuller. Her hair was long and in pigtails. He'd never before seen the pink-and-red dress she was wearing. There was so much about this little lady that he did not know. She was approaching her third birthday, and he had spent only a few months of her life with her.

There was a lump in his throat and he couldn't speak. He smiled at her, though, and she beamed back. "Hi, Daddy!"

Peg only said, "Please remember the arrangement. I'll expect her back at 5 o'clock."

B.J. managed to reply, "Yes, of course," and then Erin was by his side and Peg was retreating into the house.

 _There. That only took seven months,_ he thought sourly.

But now was no time to dwell on the long road getting here. It was time to enjoy being with his daughter.

He took her to the park, where he pushed her on the swings and rode the merry-go-round with her. He sat next to her in the sandbox, his fingers swirling around in the sand as he asked her questions like how was Waggle doing, and did she have any friends that she played with a lot. She wasn't at all reserved or cautious with him… she remembered he was Daddy, and she laughed with him easily and hugged him a few times. B.J. was over the moon.

The only problem was that the afternoon would have to come to an end. And then what?

The last thing they did that day was stop for ice cream at the diner down the street from Peg's house. B.J. sat across the booth from his daughter, watching her eating strawberry ice cream, although much of it ended up smeared across her face. One spoonful didn't quite make it to her mouth and instead fell onto the table with a splat. He smiled, so much in love with this creature that he briefly entertained the thought of never taking her back to Peg. They'd leave this diner and grab Hawkeye and the three of them would escape to Australia or someplace, never to be found. It was a nice fantasy.

"Are you coming home, Daddy?" she suddenly asked him with that innocent little-girl look, and it caught him so off-guard that he began to cry.

She stared at him as his tears fell, but he couldn't get himself under control right away, as much as he hated to upset her. He reached over and put his hand on top of hers. When finally he could speak, he said, "I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry." He used his napkin to wipe his face.

"What's wrong, Daddy?"

"Erin, right now your Mommy and I have some things we have to figure out. Hopefully I'll be seeing you again soon. I hope we can see each other a lot. But I can't promise anything, because it's not just up to me." He had no idea if that made any sense. He couldn't bad-mouth Peg, obviously, but she was the roadblock here, not him.

Whether Erin understood or not, she didn't ask anything else, only finished her ice cream while he watched her silently, his heart filled with equal parts love and sadness.

* * *

For the next couple Saturdays, Peg let B.J. have Erin for the afternoon, with the continued insistence that Hawkeye could not be involved. The men agreed without hesitation. While Hawkeye would have loved to meet little Miss Hunnicutt, it was far more important that B.J. have the time with her. They had to take whatever Peg was willing to give.

And then something remarkable happened. When B.J. brought Erin back home one Saturday at 5 o'clock, Peg actually invited him inside. "I have to ask you something, is that all right?"

"Certainly." He couldn't help noticing the excessive formality of their language. The two of them had been married, had been naked together, had made love countless times, but now they were speaking to each other like they were strangers. Polite strangers.

Peg sent Erin off to her room, and then she gestured to B.J. to have a seat on the couch. He did, but he felt awkward and tense. This used to be his home. He had picked out and paid for this couch. Now it didn't belong to him anymore.

"I've given this a lot of thought, and I'm not exactly thrilled about having to do it, but I'm in a bit of a bind. I will say, though, that Erin has been very happy that she's been able to spend time with you. I know she's comfortable with you, which makes this decision a little easier."

"What is it you need, Peg?"

She hadn't sat down, and now she started to pace as she talked. "I have a weekend conference in Los Angeles coming up, and I can't miss it. It'll be a huge boost to my career, to learn and make connections and talk to other agents. The problem is, my normal babysitter won't be around to take Erin for the three days I'm gone, and I haven't been able to find anyone else, and…" She stopped pacing and looked him straight in the eye. "Could you take her, do you think?"

B.J. blinked at her, stunned. _Of course_ he would take his daughter for a long weekend, why would she even have to ask? But then something occurred to him. "Hawkeye lives with me," he said slowly, heart pounding. "Is that… is it part of the deal that she still can't meet him?"

Peg sighed and finally sat down, on the opposite end of the couch. "That's why I thought long and hard. I can't ask you to remove your… _friend_ from your house. That wouldn't be right. So Erin can stay with the two of you, with some reasonable—I think—ground rules."

B.J. gritted his teeth. His first instinct was to tell her she didn't have any right to give him "ground rules," but he kept his mouth shut, because he desperately wanted to spend three solid days with Erin. And he was dying for Hawkeye to finally meet her. "What are the ground rules?" he asked, doing everything in his power to keep the exasperation out of his voice.

"For one thing, she can't see you two being… affectionate with each other. I mean it, B.J."

He nodded. It seemed reasonable.

"I don't want you calling him your boyfriend or however you refer to him. If she asks, he is your friend and that's that."

Again he nodded. So far the ground rules really did seem reasonable, just as she'd said.

"And you and he can't share a bed while she's there. He sleeps in another guest room or on a couch or something, but not in the same room with you."

B.J. could feel his face heating up, but he took a deep breath. From Peg's point of view, it did make a certain sense. It was just galling to hear her say it. She was dictating his sex life, essentially. He took a second deep breath, exhaling slowly, and eventually he nodded. "All right. I understand what you're worried about. We'll do it."

"OK, thank you." She didn't act as if she'd just bullied or emasculated her ex-husband. Her concern was for her daughter, and B.J. respected that.

As he sat there, feeling almost comfortable with her for the first time in a long time, a realization dawned on him. He tilted his head. "You're good at your job, aren't you, Peg?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, maybe," she said modestly.

He smiled. "No. You are. You're starting to get passionate about your career. I can tell by the look in your eyes."

She blushed but apparently didn't want to seem boastful, because all she said was, "I guess."

B.J. stood then, saying, "Well, I think it's great that it's going so well. Have a good time at the conference. Trust me, Erin will be fine."

She walked him to the door. "I know she will, B.J. And thanks."


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm nervous as hell," Hawkeye confessed, and B.J. reached over to rub his back.

"She's going to love you, Hawk. Don't worry." He opened his car door. "You wait here, I'll go get her."

So Hawkeye sat tight in the car while B.J. ran up to Peg's house and fetched Erin for their long weekend together. Hawkeye's knee bounced up and down and his fingers drummed a little on the dashboard. _Nervous as hell_ was an understatement.

He watched as B.J. led Erin by the hand to the waiting car. He was carrying her suitcase and she was carrying some kind of stuffed animal. Then the back door opened and B.J. helped her get in and get settled.

As Beej moved to the driver's side, Hawkeye turned around in his seat and smiled at the little girl. "Hello, Erin. How are you?" He felt so inept. What did he know about talking to kids?

She said nothing, only watched intently as her daddy got behind the wheel. It was as if she were waiting for some kind of signal that it was all right to talk to this strange man.

B.J. turned to her before starting the car. "Erin, this is Hawkeye. Can you say hi to him?"

Her voice was small. "Hi."

Looking from Hawkeye to Erin and back again, B.J. smiled and blinked rapidly, as if chasing away tears. Hawkeye understood. This had been a long time coming.

"Hey," B.J. said to Erin, "why don't you tell Hawkeye about that stuffed animal you've got there. It looks like a tiger…?"

She lifted it up so that Hawkeye could see it. She looked so earnest as she said, "His name is Stripey."

Hawkeye waved. "Hello, Stripey." He still felt absurd. Completely out of his element.

B.J. didn't seem to notice. He started the car and pulled away from the curb, heading for their house a couple miles away. Hawkeye suddenly had the feeling it was going to be a long and uncomfortable weekend.

* * *

Giving an apologetic look, B.J. helped Hawkeye make up the bed in the second guest room of their home. "I'll miss you next to me," B.J. said gently.

"Yeah. Me too." They spread the blanket, smoothed it out on top of the bed.

Erin was already asleep, probably still clutching Stripey the tiger, in the room they'd set up for her. They'd both stood over her until she drifted off, which actually took no time at all. It'd been a busy day for her, finishing up with having to stay someplace she'd never been before.

"She barely said anything to me," Hawkeye pointed out now, voicing just one of his many concerns.

B.J. chuckled. "Hawk, she's not quite 3 years old. She doesn't have much of a vocabulary to begin with. And you're a brand new person to her. I'd be surprised if she _wasn't_ shy around you." He went to Hawkeye and pulled him into a hug. "It'll take a little time, but she will start to talk to you, trust me. And then she'll become such a chatterbox that you'll probably wish she'd shut up."

"OK, Beej, if you say so."

"Stop worrying so much. This kind of thing takes time."

"OK."

B.J. kissed him, then stepped out of the embrace. "I love you."

"I love you too. Good night, Beej."

Sleeping separately was part of the agreement, of course, and Hawkeye didn't have any objections, but he still felt a pang in his heart as B.J. left the room.

His sleep was fitful. There were a lot of dreams, or maybe one long dream that starred a cast of thousands. At one point he was having a conversation with God, who looked an awful lot like Sherman Potter. He was telling God that he hadn't meant for that woman on the bus to smother her baby, back during the final days of the War. The dream version of himself burst into tears then, reliving the horror of that night, and God said, "You are forgiven," but Hawkeye for some reason didn't believe him. Then Erin Hunnicutt appeared next to him. She was holding onto a leash and at the end of it was a live tiger, not Stripey the stuffed animal. Hawkeye wanted to tell her that tigers are very dangerous and she should drop the leash and back away from the big cat slowly, but he was too scared to speak, fearful that any sound would set the tiger into attack mode. He gestured to her instead, miming that she should drop the leash, but she didn't do as he wished. "Who are you?" she wondered. "I know you live in my daddy's house but I don't know who you are." And that made him forget all about the tiger, because now he had to explain his relationship with B.J., and how the hell was he supposed to do that?

A sudden cry from down the hall awakened him, and he sat up in bed, heart hammering. Erin, obviously… probably having nightmares of her own. He got out of bed and threw on his red bathrobe, getting to the guest room a half-second ahead of B.J.

"Hey, hey," they both said as they rushed to her bed. Hawkeye stood aside as B.J. cradled her in his arms.

"Bad dream, honey?" B.J asked into her hair.

She nodded.

Hawkeye knelt down so that he was at her level, his hand rubbing her back as B.J. continued to hold her. "Join the club, sweetie," he said. "I was having bad dreams too."

She looked at him with her wide, wet eyes. "You did?"

"Yep. Really bad ones. It happens to all of us, kiddo. Scary, isn't it?"

She nodded again, and Hawkeye noticed that B.J. was letting him have the conversation, not interrupting at all, only consoling his daughter silently.

"But the thing to remember about dreams is they can't hurt you. I know they're scary, and your heart is probably going a mile a minute right now, but nothing bad is actually going to happen to you. You're with us, and you're safe. Do you feel safe in your daddy's arms there?"

She nodded, looking from Hawkeye to B.J., who kissed her cheek.

"Do you want to talk about the dream?" Hawkeye asked, at the same time thinking: _I do not want to talk about mine, thank you very much._

Erin shook her head no, and he came close to laughing a little. _Kindred spirits we are._ "Well that's perfectly OK, I can't say I blame you." He smiled at B.J., who'd been watching the whole exchange with a bemused expression.

Stripey the stuffed animal had fallen onto the floor, so Hawkeye picked it up and handed it to her, and the look on her face could only be described as angelic. Suddenly he felt more paternal than he ever had in his life.

B.J. said, "Do you think you can go back to sleep now, honey?" He pulled back from her to study her face. She did seem to have calmed down considerably.

She nodded and settled back down under the covers, holding onto Stripey.

"Do you want me to stay here until you fall asleep again?" B.J. wondered.

"Uh huh," she said. Then, so sweetly: "And Hawkeye too."

Hawkeye's heart took a tumble. He was finally starting to get it, everything B.J. had ever said about fatherhood. Every emotion… the worry, the pride, the empathy, the love… he was beginning to understand now.

Without knowing he was going to do it, he opened his mouth and started to sing the first song that came to mind, "Sentimental Journey," even though it wasn't your typical choice for a lullaby. But he sang softly: "Gonna take a sentimental journey, Gonna set my heart at ease…" After a little while B.J. joined him, his voice equally as soft… and a little while after that, Erin's eyes drifted shut.


	9. Chapter 9

B.J. came out of the bathroom and overheard his daughter rambling to Hawkeye in the living room. The subject was, quite clearly, food. "And I like pizza and scrambled eggs and hot dogs and spetti…" (which B.J. knew was _spaghetti_ ). "And French fries and candy…"

Hawkeye managed to get a word in edgewise. "And ice cream, I'll bet?"

"Oh. Yeah. And ice cream. Chocolate ice cream, or strawby." _Strawberry_.

B.J. was getting hungry just listening in. But he was also getting a real kick out of this conversation. He didn't know many people who loved food as much as these two did. He stayed in the hallway a little longer, not feeling at all guilty about eavesdropping.

"So what do you think," Hawkeye was saying to her now. "Shall we go get some ice cream?"

"Now?" It sounded like half word and half gasp.

"Sure, now. Well, when your daddy's done in the bathroom. We don't want to leave him behind, do we?"

"Nuh uh."

Figuring that was his cue, B.J. finally stepped into the living room. "Did I hear something about ice cream?"

"Hurry up, Daddy, 'cause… 'cause, um, Hawkeye says we can go have ice cream." She was struggling with her speech out of excitement, but B.J. waited while she found the words she wanted. "But we had to… we had to wait for you to stop peeing. We didn't want to leave you 'hind."

He laughed. "Well I've stopped peeing. Let's go!"

They decided to go to a malt shop a couple blocks away, walking there with Erin in the middle, holding Hawkeye's hand on the left and B.J.'s on the right. B.J. glanced over at Hawk, loving this feeling of family. It was everything he'd dreamed about, when he allowed himself the luxury of dreaming about the three of them being together.

Erin got her beloved strawberry ice cream, while both B.J. and Hawkeye opted for chocolate. She sat there giggling when she wasn't trying to spoon ice cream into her mouth, because Hawkeye was being goofy, putting straws on his head to look like antennae or making his napkin flutter like a moth. B.J. wasn't sure she was even tasting her treat, because her eyes rarely left Hawkeye. The adoration was beginning. _Well,_ he marveled, _that sure didn't take long._

B.J. knew exactly how she felt. He'd fallen under Hawkeye Pierce's spell at their first meeting, too.

* * *

B.J. pulled over to the curb in front of Peg's house and got out of the car, swinging around to the backseat. Hawkeye leaned over from the front to face her, "I had a lot of fun with you this weekend, Erin."

"Me too."

"I hope I get to see you again soon." Then B.J. was reaching in for her hand and helping her out of the car, and Hawkeye was astonished to realize his eyes were brimming with tears. "Bye, Stripey! Bye, Erin!"

"Bye!" she called.

He watched as B.J. walked her up to her mom's house. After a moment, the door opened and Erin disappeared inside while B.J. and Peg spoke.

 _No big deal,_ Hawkeye told himself. _Peg will let us have her again sometime. This was just the beginning…_

When B.J. returned, he was chattering as soon as he had the car door open. "I asked Peg if we could see Erin next Saturday. Like I've been doing, you know? Saturday afternoons for a few hours? Except this time, I said 'we' meaning you, too."

"And?"

"She's only been home from L.A. for a half hour, she's all frazzled and didn't have time to talk. She said I should stop by tomorrow after my shift at the hospital. But I'll tell ya, it seems promising."

"Let's hope so, Beej." He reached over and put a hand on his partner's knee. "I miss that little kid already."

B.J. grinned. "She does have that effect on people, doesn't she?"


	10. Chapter 10

B.J. sat at Peg's kitchen table, a bottle of Coke in front of him but untouched. He was wondering if he'd actually heard her correctly.

"Every other weekend… forever?"

A thin smile crossed her face. "Well, that's assuming you don't give me any reason to change my mind, B.J."

He shook his head, still digesting this amazing news. "We can have her every other weekend," he repeated.

"From Friday evenings, whenever you get off work, to Sunday evenings. Does that seem fair?"

 _More_ _than fair,_ he thought. His heart felt like it was actually leaping. "Yes, absolutely. It's very generous of you, Peg."

She'd been sitting across from him at the table, but now she stood and went to the fridge, getting her own bottle of soda. "She talks about you all the time," Peg explained. "It's been good for her, to spend time with you. And I have to admit, she really seems to like _him_ , too."

B.J. noted, with brief bitterness, that she avoided saying Hawkeye's name. _Him_. B.J. might have said something about it, but this conversation was going too damn well to express any kind of irritation with her.

She took a drink of soda, moving around the kitchen as she spoke. "I don't know, B.J., it occurred to me that I don't want to be the mean mom who keeps her daughter from seeing her daddy. She deserves to have both parents in her life. And I often have to work on weekends anyway—that's usually the best time to show houses." She stopped pacing and faced him with a shrug. "It's an arrangement that seems to make sense."

B.J. was almost afraid to ask, but he did anyway. "And do your 'ground rules' continue to apply?"

She sighed, casting her eyes away from him. There was a long pause before she spoke. "Can I trust you two to be… discreet? I don't want to be unreasonable, B.J., but if Erin sees you two acting like… like a couple, she isn't going to understand. And honestly, I don't think I want her to understand. I mean, I know how that sounds, but hell. Not even _I_ understand your..."

She trailed off, but he got the gist. His voice gentle, he said, "Believe me, Peg, we will never do anything to upset Erin, or make her feel uncomfortable. Of course we'll be discreet." He stood and went to her, placed his hands on her shoulders. It was their first physical contact in eight months. "You're being very decent about this, Peg. Thank you."

Her eyes met his, and her expression was soft. Something was happening to his ex-wife, changing her… could she be in love? She hadn't mentioned anything like that to him, but then again, why would she? Or maybe it was the fact that her professional life was satisfying her in ways she'd never expected. She was becoming a career woman, and it suited her.

She let out another sigh, as if she weren't at all sure she was making the right decisions. Then she said simply, "I'm just trying to be a good mother."

"You are a _great_ mother," he assured her, and did something he never dreamed he'd do again. He gave her a hug.


	11. Chapter 11

"Hi, Hawkeye!" Erin cried out as she ran up to him on the sidewalk with her arms outstretched, while still holding Stripey in one hand.

He picked her up and spun her around a little. "Hello, Erin, and you too, Stripey! I told you I'd see you again soon."

Hawkeye glanced up to see Peg withdrawing into her house and B.J. finally catching up to his daughter. The smile on his face couldn't have been wider. "Another whole weekend with me and Hawk… is that all right with you, sweetie?"

"Yeah!" she exclaimed as Hawkeye put her down. "Can we get ice cream?"

Their Friday evening was spent at the movies, followed by a stop at a diner for ice cream. By the time they got back home after all that excitement, it was past Erin's bedtime and she was tired and cranky. B.J. and Hawkeye tucked her in bed, then tiptoed off to the room they shared. No more separate beds for them. That had been quite a hardship as far as Hawkeye was concerned. When he didn't have his man to snuggle with, his nights felt endless.

Saturday morning brought a crisis. The guys were in the kitchen—Hawkeye scrambling eggs and B.J. pouring juice—when Erin ran in, frantic. "Stripey's gone! I can't find him!"

"OK, take it easy, honey," B.J. said, putting a comforting hand on her back. "We'll find him. You probably just left him in the living room…"

Nope, not there.

"In the car?" Hawkeye suggested, spooning the scrambled eggs onto plates. B.J. went outside to check.

Not in the car either.

"He's gone!" Erin's little chin was starting to wobble.

"Honey, we'll find him, don't worry," B.J. soothed, but when he looked at Hawkeye, there was some doubt in his eyes.

"Let's eat breakfast, and then we'll look everywhere for him," Hawkeye said. "He didn't run away, Erin, he loves you too much. He's just temporarily misplaced."

She blinked at him. He had to remind himself that phrases like "temporarily misplaced" were not appropriate for an almost-3-year-old.

"We'll get him back," he amended. He tried to sound positive, but breakfast was a bit on the somber side, as Erin pouted and didn't eat much of her eggs.

Afterward, they walked around the house methodically, looking behind the couch, under beds, in closets. Erin called out "Stripey!" as they searched, so B.J. and Hawkeye did the same.

He was nowhere in the house. He was not in the front or back yard. They tried looking in the car again, including in the trunk, which made no sense because the trunk hadn't been opened by anyone in ages.

"Are you sure you didn't leave him at home?" Hawkeye asked at one point, but then felt stupid, because he himself had greeted Stripey yesterday when they'd picked Erin up.

Erin was starting to get tired again, and maybe a little depressed. Suddenly Hawkeye had a thought, and he grabbed his car keys, telling B.J., "Don't get her hopes up in case I'm wrong. I'll be back in a few minutes."

He drove to the diner they'd stopped at the evening before, after their movie. The place was packed, serving a hungry and boisterous breakfast crowd, but he managed to flag down a waitress as she walked by with a coffee pot.

"Excuse me, uh… Carol," he said, reading her nametag. "But I was here last night, and my daughter lost her stuffed tiger. It wouldn't happen to be here, would it?" Only after it was out of his mouth did his brain even register the words "my daughter." He told himself he must've said it as a way of shorthanding the conversation. Much easier than _The daughter of my boyfriend, if that's what you want to call him, but that's kind of a juvenile term for 30-something doctors, don't you think?…_

He snapped out of his daze to see Carol smiling broadly at him. "Yes, it's here! We've got it in our Lost and Found box behind the counter, sir. Hang on a second."

She was back in no time, the beloved toy in her hand. "We were hoping somebody would come back for it."

Hawkeye thanked her profusely, so overjoyed that he handed her a $5 bill for babysitting a stuffed animal, and high-tailed it back to the house, anxious to ease a little girl's worried mind.

"Erin, look who I found!" he called out as he bounded in the door.

She came running in from the kitchen and literally shrieked when she saw Stripey. Shrieked in a good way. She grabbed him out of Hawkeye's hands, jumping up and down a little. "Stripey!"

Over the commotion, Hawkeye explained, "Found him at the diner. But don't worry, the nice waitresses there took very good care of him. He seems to be all right, doesn't he?"

"Yeah! He seems good! Thank you, Hawkeye! Thank you!" She hugged his legs, until he bent down and gave her a proper hug.

Then, as Erin scampered off with her tiger, it was B.J.'s turn to embrace Hawkeye in gratitude. "You have just earned her eternal love and devotion, I hope you know."

Hawkeye laughed. "In a month, I'll bet Stripey isn't even a blip on her radar anymore."

"It doesn't matter. Even after she forgets about Stripey, she won't forget that you were her hero when she needed one." He looked right and left to make sure his daughter was nowhere around, then he kissed Hawkeye quickly. "After all, I haven't forgotten that, myself."

* * *

Erin wasn't a witness to that particular display of affection, but their luck ran out the next day. They thought she was playing in her room with her dolls, so it was quite a surprise when she came running into the kitchen and caught them in the middle of a passionate kiss. It was bound to happen, B.J. figured… there weren't many people on earth who were as demonstrative and loving as him and Hawk.

Peg's words came back to him as he initially panicked: _If Erin sees you two acting like a couple, she isn't going to understand._

But right on the heels of that came this thought, and the mild panic was replaced by anger: _What's not to understand? It's love, for God's sake._

If his daughter was going to be spending every other weekend with him and Hawkeye, of course she was going to see them _acting like a couple_. They _were_ a couple, and B.J. saw no reason why he shouldn't explain that to her. It wasn't going to scare her, or scar her either, for that matter.

So he asked her to sit down for a moment at the table, and he said, "I know you just saw us kissing. You've probably never seen us do that before, but actually we do it a lot. There's nothing wrong with it. Hawkeye and I are in love with each other, and adults who are in love show it by kissing and touching."

Hawkeye chimed in, "That's why we live together. People who are in love also want to be together all the time. You might not understand what we're talking about, but someday you'll see. When you get older—much older—you'll have somebody that you love, too."

"I love Stripey," Erin said, logically.

Hawkeye nodded. "Well yes. But that's not quite the same thing. That's an interspecies relationship and isn't actually sanctioned by the Board of Governors of the Amore Association."

B.J. shot him a look, and Hawkeye held up a hand, yielding the floor. B.J. said, "Anyway, I just wanted to talk to you about it… since you're going to be staying with us a lot. You may sometimes see us kissing or holding hands or something like that. All right?"

She gave a _big whoop_ kind of shrug. As if to say: _you're asking me? What do I care?_ "OK. Can I have something to eat now?"

B.J. exchanged a look with Hawkeye. _If only_ _all_ _of society would just shrug away the idea of two men being in love,_ he thought. "Yeah, sure," he said. "A little girl with such an open mind deserves pizza, if you ask me."

"Yay, pizza!" she exclaimed, at the same instant Hawkeye said the same. Then they shouted "Jinx!" simultaneously, which struck both of them as so funny that they exploded in laughter.

B.J. couldn't help rolling his eyes even as he smiled at their antics. _These two… like a couple of peas in a pod._


	12. Chapter 12

_**Author's Note:**_ _As we come to the end of this story, I feel like I have to apologize to Peg Hunnicutt the fictional character, and to all of Peg's fans, who are most definitely real. Normally I write her as a very understanding, tolerant (almost ridiculously so) woman, but when I got this story request, it made me realize I tend to make Peg too good to be true. I decided it would be interesting to make her more realistic for a change, especially as a woman of the 1950s. I hope I managed to strike a good balance here, portraying her as a product of her times but also someone who could eventually adjust and forgive._

* * *

 _A year later…_

"There's a parking space, Beej," Hawkeye said, pointing up ahead. "Finally!"

B.J. deftly pulled into the spot his partner had indicated. "Must be a pretty big birthday party," he said. "The block is all parked up."

Hawkeye smirked. "You're not kidding. This girl—Debbie, was it?—is only turning 4. How many people can she know at this point in her life?"

B.J. chuckled as he killed the ignition. They got out of the car and headed toward the sound of laughing, shouting children. They were running a little late picking up Erin from the party and B.J. was starving. Hawkeye had promised to make spaghetti and meatballs once they got back home, and it was all B.J. could think about.

Life, B.J. reflected as they walked in silence, was very good. He and Hawkeye were still getting Erin every other weekend, and occasionally more often than that, when Peg had to go out of town on business. Considering the situation, the way the Hunnicutt marriage had broken up, it was really the best outcome B.J. could have hoped for. He thanked God every day that Peg had agreed to this, and continued to agree to it. After all, the courts had determined that she had every right to prevent B.J. from ever seeing his daughter again.

But Peg had settled into her new life, and she accepted B.J.'s as well. She was flourishing in her real-estate career. And she was now four months into her first serious relationship following the divorce, with an architect named Ron. Every time B.J. saw her, he noted the contentment and serenity in her expression.

As for him and Hawkeye, they were still working at the same hospital, still enjoying every second that they got to spend with Erin, and still head-over-heels in love with each other. They were finally talking about buying a house, as opposed to continuing to rent, because they were sure now that they were going to be staying in Mill Valley. Near Erin, of course. Hawkeye was trying to talk his father into moving out to California; maybe, Hawk suggested, they could find a house that had an in-law suite and Daniel could live with them. B.J. had even asked Peg to keep an eye out for such a house. It boggled his mind a little… the idea of his ex-wife brokering the sale of a house to him and his same-sex partner.

Welcome to one man's family.

Now he and Hawkeye made their way into the back yard where the birthday party raged, scanning the crowd of kids for Erin. "There," Hawkeye said as he pointed. "She's at the picnic table with that blonde girl… that's Debbie, right?"

They headed in that direction, and B.J. called out, "Erin! We're here, honey. Sorry we're a little bit late."

Erin whipped her head around and spotted them, gave a smile and an enthusiastic wave, and then turned back to her friend. "Bye, Debbie. I have to go now."

Debbie squinted up, regarding the two men as they approached. "OK. Bye, Erin." Then, as though it were an afterthought: "Which one's your daddy?"

Erin didn't miss a beat. "They both are," she said matter-of-factly, then scampered off to join them, walking in between them, holding their hands.


End file.
